On My Own Or Not
by kittysundae
Summary: Hermione is stuck with no control over her life because of her overbearing father. One professor comes to her rescue but will it be too late to save her from herself. Warnings: Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm. There may later be suicide attempts.


On My Own, or Not

Authors Note: I wasn't planning on starting another fic until my first one was complete but this idea has been nagging me to write it. Just a background the beginning of this fic is loosely based on my own experiences except whereas Hermione is 10-11 at this point in the story (due to the age you start Hogwarts) I am between the ages of 15 and 17 in my own story. Also in this story Hermione has an older brother and a younger brother.

Warning: Suicidal thoughts and Self-Harm (Perhaps an attempt

Disclaimer: I don't own anything other than the plot.

Hermione POV:

It was a grey rainy day when my Hogwarts letter arrived. At first I thought it was just a joke but then it started to sink in that I wasn't just an average girl. I always knew that I was different but I couldn't explain it. All the other kids teased me because I am smart. I eventually started to ignore my schoolwork so that the other children would stop teasing me, but it didn't help. Things only got worse actually because now kids would call me stupid. I already had a low self-esteem and was trying to cope with my depression, or at least what I suspected to be depression because as of that point they had yet to diagnose it.

I snapped when my mother threatened to kill me three times in one night and told me to kill myself. I tried to speak to Mrs. Piper, a teacher at my school that I never had but I was very close to anyways, during the time between classes, but she was very busy. I went back to her classroom right after school and thankfully she hadn't left yet. When I got there she was in the middle of writing a test for her students but was willing to talk to me for a few minutes. As I started to recount the incident of the night before, my mother throwing things at me, hitting me, and threatening me, I couldn't help but cry. When I finished my story she offered me a hug and began comforting me. She insisted I go to guidance and walked me there; she somehow knew that I wouldn't go there if I could avoid it. After that incident, I started to have more outbursts that seemed to cause the most interesting things to happen.

I was causing so much destruction to myself and the things around me but my teachers didn't even notice anything was wrong with me. I wish someone had noticed or if they had noticed at least cared enough to do something.

I responded accepting my place at the school because to me, that letter was the key that opened the door to a fresh start. After my father found out about it though of course he had to ruin everything. My father insisted that I go to a normal school because "I am not responsible enough". This really irritated me and caused my depression to spiral out of control. I ended up in a screaming match with my mother where I told her, "If you don't stop him and let me go to that school I will kill myself" that got me a one way ticket to the psych unit.

The psych unit was one of the worst experiences of my life. When I arrived, they took my electronics and my normal clothing, and made me stand there, naked as someone looked over every single inch of skin on my body for evidence of injuries. They didn't say it but I knew they were looking for cut marks. I didn't have any at the time but to be completely honest that humiliation was enough to make me wish that I were dead. I missed the first day of the school year at Hogwarts because I was there. I made a few friends there but they wouldn't let us share our contact information. I suggested we pass contact info around in Shakespeare books because they wouldn't expect that. I want to run away but I don't know how. I sat in my hospital room reading the book Matilda over and over again. I really wish that someone would come and take me away from here, from my parents, from my misery.

As I was hoping for someone to come and rescue me from that hell, I heard a knock on the door. It was someone I didn't recognize. She had a finger to her lips telling me to be quiet as she quickly stepped inside. She took out an object that resembled a stick and appeared to be attempting to do magic.

"Is that a wand?"

"Yes Hermione, now I am Professor McGonagall. I am a teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We noticed you did not show up for the first day of term despite your response to your acceptance letter. I insisted on tracking you down to find you in here. Now I am curious as to why you are in the psychiatric unit but right now it is more important that we get you out and to school. I have removed all records of you being here so we can leave. I need you to grab onto my arm so that I can apparate us out. It will feel really weird but this is the only way out without detection. I will take you to purchase your wand and robes. We can send for your books and other supplies."

I was reluctant to grab onto her arm but anything was better than this hell.

AN: Sorry this is so short but I really want to get this out. I am venting to some extent but some of this is just dreams. I really would like some reviews to boost my spirits. Right now I am pretty upset and so because reviews always cheer me up please review. Also I would go into more detail about things if people want me to so please review and tell me!


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